While You Were Out

An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

By Meg Kissinger
Book cover for 'while you were out' by meg kissinger, exploring the personal and historical perspectives on mental illness.
Author: Meg Kissinger
ISBN: 9781250793775
ON SALE: 09/05/2023

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From award-winning journalist Meg Kissinger, a searing memoir of a family besieged by mental illness, as well as an incisive exploration of the systems that failed them and a testament to the love that sustained them.

Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard.

But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding. A heavily-medicated mother hospitalized for anxiety and depression, a manic father prone to violence, and children in the throes of bipolar disorder and depression, two of whom would take their own lives. Through it all, the Kissingers faced the world with their signature dark humor and the unspoken family rule–never talk about it.

While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles, then opens outward as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.

Powerful, candid and filled with surprising humor, this is the story of one family’s love and resilience in face of great loss.

A smiling woman outdoors wearing a quilted jacket and a scarf, with a serene lake and trees in the background.
Meg Kissinger spent more than two decades traveling across the country writing about America’s mental health system for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. A Pulitzer Prize finalist, she has won dozens of accolades, including two George Polk Awards, the Robert F. Kennedy Award, Investigative Reporters and Editors, and two National Journalism Awards. Kissinger teaches investigative reporting at Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism and was a visiting professor at DePauw University, her alma mater. Her stories on the abysmal living conditions for people with mental illness inspired changes to state law and led to the creation of hundreds of new housing units. Meg Kissinger lives in Milwaukee with her husband.

Praise for Meg Kissinger

  • New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice
  • Goodreads Choice Award Nominee – Best Memoir & Autobiography
  • Audible Best Bios & Memoirs of 2023
  • Amazon Editors’ Top 20 Best Memoirs of 2023
  • Amazon Editors’ Top 100 Books of 2023

"Kissinger paints a singular portrait of her family’s pain and the culture of silence that exacerbated it."

The Atlantic

“In this searing debut memoir, Pulitzer finalist Kissinger documents how mental illness impacted her family and led her to spend more than 20 years reporting on mental health in America… She’s particularly good at the complexities of talking about suicide, and how pressures against such conversations may have prevented her family from averting tragedy. As both a candid family portrait and a polemic against institutional neglect of the mentally ill, this delivers.”

Publishers Weekly
Starred Review

“Kissinger identifies endemic problems in dealing with mentally ill individuals, including housing, social support, medical treatment, and hospitalization…An impassioned argument for reform in caring for the afflicted.” 

Kirkus

“Shimmering with hope and pulsating with heartache, this exceptional listen is as much an exquisitely personal work as it is a fervent call to action. Kissinger’s narration, like her writing, is as incisive as it is boundlessly compassionate.”

Audible
Best Bios & Memoirs of 2023
“The raw intimacy of [Meg Kissinger’s] prose exemplifies the empathy our society so desperately needs.”
The New York Times

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